“Children make friends, based on their particular preference, a certain set of criteria.
As they grow older, those criteria become less important.
We evaluate others according to our own set of values, not according to their own.
There are always particulars that we do not take into consideration, since we don’t consider them to be as important.
For example, to one person the shape of someone’s nose may be very key, while to someone else it is completely irrelevant.
One can construct a set of values in which all physical attributes are as unimportant as the size of a person’s nose.
In such a framework, it is possible to relate to others solely in terms of their souls — those traits that divide us, such as jealousy and hatred, become completely inconsequential.
This is not because people are truly equal but because the differences between them are of no account.
The more we judge others based on the body and its characteristics, the more unequal society becomes.
When we believe that one person is somehow superior to another, true equality is impossible.
Under these circumstances, there cannot be real love of others.”
From Understanding the Tanya ,p. 122, by Rabnbi Adin Steinsaltz