If my "love" for my wife is defined by sex or my "love" for my son is defined by nachas, then I do not really understand what love is.
When I truly love, what matters is the relationship itself, not the benefit I derive from it.
The most exalted love is entirely other-oriented: It is the love I have for nature, which I cannot change or own.
And it is Jacob's love for Rachel, which endured through seven years, and longer (whether a few days or another seven years), because it was the fact of the relationship that mattered, not any tangible benefit to him.
–Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz
From "Love, Actually," January 30, 2007 by Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz